We seem to live in a world where anything and everything
can be made into something controversial. Where there is an opinion, someone
can make an argument out of it. That is not to say that all opinions hold any
kind of indignation to any or all persons who may hold a difference in opinion,
but too much of a push will always receive something in return, especially when
one’s views may be considered extreme.
When asked about personal views, we tend to hold back the
most controversial to avoid argument or to protect ourselves. Too often, we
find ourselves skipping important events, open conversations in person or on
social media, and even family get-togethers in an attempt to keep from stepping
into an exchange about something some may find arbitrary. Because someone may
have a more biased view on either side of an issue does not mean it is any more
wrong, unjust or less valuable to them than the ones we hold so dear. It does
not always mean that they are a bigot, racist, and sexist or are prejudice; it may
just mean that they have values and opinions that differ and we should not jump
to conclusions. Too often, people make judgements based on others' values. Do they
not all hold as much of a right to their beliefs as others if it does not hurt
or endanger another person’s life? To tell someone how to think is indeed
limiting his or her freedoms just as much as another who says how one should
live, what they should think or what they should believe. We as a whole society
seem to coast too comfortably in this river of hypocrisy to realize that our
own raft is bottoming out in the shallow water. Why should one dictate how
another chooses their way of life? We all live and learn to believe that we can
be anything we want to be, and we should never stop teaching that. But when we start
teaching people that he or she can be anyone or do anything only if it does not
affect someone else’s view, then we are traveling down the wrong road. Our only
limitations should be those we put on ourselves, not what others decide are
acceptable for them.
For example, gender equality is just as much of a
perpetuating fight today as it was when Abigail Adams infamously wrote “Remember
the ladies” in her letter to her husband, the second president of the United
States of America, John Adams, while he was away addressing political matters
in Philadelphia, PA. The idea that women did not have as much of a value in
society as their male counterparts was an undeniable oversight in American
history. And many countries in the world today still view women as property. Abigail
Adams’ influence on her husband’s accomplishments brought much leeway for
future arguments for women’s rights and responsibilities in America, although
her views of equality were not in the modern sense. But justifiably so, she
believed that “the passion for Liberty cannot be equally strong in the breasts
of those who have been accustomed to deprive their fellow creatures of theirs.”
[1]
In the continuing battle of gender equality today, women,
and anyone of any race, creed, color or gender for that matter, should not be
limited in their wants, needs or desires in employment, lifestyle or value in
society. They should not be limited in wages or the opportunities for jobs or
careers that allows them to be competitive. Women who may want to become the
President of the United States, for example, should have the right to achieve
their goal based solely on their political achievements rather than gender
overshadowing their abilities- and that goes the same for any race, as well.
But are we devaluing motherhood in search for women’s
equal rights and opportunities? To many women I know, it no longer seems to be acceptable
for them to be proud of being a mother. According to them, to be a proud mother
these days comes with the accusations or shame of limiting herself to the
portrayal or depiction of what a woman can also be- which is a successful,
proud, loving mother who raises her children instead of pursuing a career.
Sadly, they feel that there can be no content or pride in being a loving mother
in the midst of many of the feministic views in today’s egocentric society. A woman
who prefers to be a homemaker or stay-at-home wife or mother should have the
same rights to personal preferences in lifestyle as those who choose the career
path, but too often women feel the pressure to work out of the home.
There is the idea that while anyone protests against
something important to him or her in today’s heterogeneous America, all who may
fit the profile or visual description of those in protest must join the cause
or suffer self-righteous, hypocritical discrimination from activists. Just as a
black man can be labeled an “Uncle Tom,” a woman can be called an “anti-feminist
troll,” and a religious white man can be considered a “racist pig.” Many people
prefer to stay out of an argument to avoid the labels and judgements that
others may place, and that is okay. However, while we all have values, we are
not all protected against judgements, accusations and assumptions, as we would
like to think.
This country is diverse in many interesting and
fascinating ways. Cultural differences, race and lifestyles differ throughout
the U.S. It is what makes this country so wonderful to live in. No two people
are the same, and neither are their values. The values we each hold have shaped
who we are and who we become. Sometimes our values, beliefs or lifestyles
change over time. Sometimes what we consider good or bad values can change, as
well. And how can we determine what should be a good value to anyone other than
ourselves? Only we can know. If a woman wants to work, let her work, and the
same for a woman wants to stay at home with her children. The prejudices in the
world should not push our pride too far to shift what we consider our own
personal values. They are our foundation to which we build on, and no one
should be able to tell another what should be important to them. Their values, goals,
achievements and lifestyle choices are between them and God. When did it become
customary to judge someone on his or her values and beliefs just because it
differs from another? Is that not hypocrisy? “For with what judgment ye
judge, ye shall be judged; and with what measure ye mete, it shall be measured
to you again.”[2]
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