The Hunt for Happiness

Tax season is wonderful, well, at least for me. I usually get a tax return that can pay off some or all of the debt that I accumulated throughout the year, or it can buy a “new to me” car. That is exactly what I will do this year- buy a new, used car! Since I do not technically have one of my own, it is time to replace the one I sold when I moved here to Utah. The choice and excitement of looking for a new car usually comes with a bragging conversation with friends or coworkers about what car I should buy. Recently, while talking with a man at work, I mentioned my hunt for a reliable Volkswagen or Subaru. Upon responding to his question of how much of a return I am getting, he gasped. “Why are you getting so much back?” I can only imagine his thoughts of how in the world someone who makes the same hourly wage as he does but with part-time employment can manage to have such a high tax return. My answer was simple; children (dependents), school (tuition) and my previous employer paid me substantially more than my current one does (although the latter had nothing to do with it, it was an attempt to steer the conversation). Throughout our conversation about taxes, money and cars, he kept trying to make sense of why someone would leave a job that pays upwards of $75-80,000 a year to then work part-time with a low income and go to school. The only way I could respond thoughtfully is by hitting a question back over the net. How can someone measure happiness in dollars?

Until recently, I worked for Waste Management of Oregon as a recycle truck driver. It is not exactly a glamorous job but it paid well for someone with only a tenth-grade education and a GED. Life seemed to take less effort than it previously did. My wife and I were able to afford things easier with minimal debt. We were able to keep up with hobbies, participate in night activities with friends, even loan money to family or friends when they needed it; we also hosted parties on occasion. But there always comes a decisive moment amongst functioning in a world so demanding, yet hardly rewarding. For us, it came in two separate instances in early 2014.

While out to dinner with my wife one night, I revealed my dream of becoming a writer and my want of someday writing a novel. A few months later in an argument about happiness, I revealed that despite our income, I was not happy; I also wanted to become an English teacher instead of a driver for the rest of my life. I have always felt that I was not living up to my potential and many of our friends and family agreed. The idea of being an English teacher is not the way to become successful, that is, if you measure success by income. But if you measure success by reward then you have something entirely different to live by. I have already made enough money to see what becomes of it, it tends to change people; and mostly for worse. I have not been rich but I have mingled with the wealthiest of the wealthy; I have also mingled with the poorest of the poor. There is no difference between the levels of happiness they can achieve or their abilities to become happy or sad. There is no difference in the value of their individual wants, needs and desires in life. And who are we to judge them by their desires?

Life is long. And it would be a shame for anyone to just flow with the current. I believe everyone has a chance to become someone happier. It is up to us to know what that is and how to achieve it and money is not the answer. A famous rapper, ironically, once wrote, “Mo’ money, mo’ problems,” and I believe that is true. I cannot argue with the importance of money in all situations but if you take money out of the equation, does it have to change the answer?